Saturday, December 14, 2013

Personal Add...

…Every now and then, I take the focus off fashion and share snippets about my LIFE
{This IS a blog about how my LIFE & my STYLE collide}
That said, this is my take on single-hood.

A Mock Personal Add:

HI! I’m Tammie
I am 5’3 230 pound bold and beautiful woman.
Yes I am a little chunky, but I have GREAT style and taste, so I will look good on any man’s arm.
I’m not one of those girls with low self-esteem or one whom feels she NEEDs a man to function.
I’ve been single on and off for a few months so I have experienced the best of both worlds.
 I would best describe myself as a person who understands what a good and healthy relationship could add to one's life.
... And so begins my journey to greatness in this facet.
What I am looking for is someone who fits in with my goals in life.
Someone who won’t be intimidated by my success because they are driven in their own pursuits.
Someone who I can trust to lead my (future) family.
Someone who shares the same values which I do and who is looking for a long-term relationship.

What I have to offer…
Exactly what I am asking for!
I am also passionate, genuine, creative, loving, giving (to the right person) and intelligent, just to name a few.
All of my other qualities, good and bad, you’ll have to find out when you get to know me.

Preparing to find my King

A Mock Therapy Session:

I did a mock therapy session with a classmate.
I just wanted to process some of the changes I’m making in my personal life.
That is, weeding out toxic and co-dependent relationships so I can find TRUE happiness within the relationship I am building with myself.
We, my therapist and I, came to the consensus that I should find two constants, which I am not willing to change for a relationship.

She helped me come to the conclusion that I have changed parts of myself in each relationship to make them work.
What about me?
What am I NOT willing to sacrifice?

Some things that I have given are:
My self respect
My time
My body (although in some instances I didn’t mind this all that much)
My beliefs in how relationships should work

That’s IT!
That’s one constant!
I am not willing to change some things about how relationships should work.
I want to be pursued for the right reasons.
I want chivalry.
I want him to pay for the first date.
I want him to like me enough to wait for physical intimacy.
I want phone calls instead of texts.
I want him to listen to me.
I want movie nights and dinner dates and to meet his parents.
I want him to be there for my graduation.
I want intimacy.
So that’s one of my constants…I am NOT willing to change my view on how relationships should be. What I've come to know about men is they eventually get to that point with a woman when they are into her.


Let the waiting begin. 


  1. Amen Tammie!!! I looove this post!! Girl you should go on YouTube and listen to Tony Gaskins. He is a relationship coach and girrrrrl he is the BOOOMB.COM!!! I'm subscribed to his channel and I love it!! He gives you the real.. Listen to him and tell me what you think..

  2. I love thisl! I am waiting patiently/preparing for my king too! As women, sometimes we get so impatient and lower our standards just so we wont be "lonely". I did that before and I promise to never do it again. We are QUEENS and should wait on a man who realizes that too!

  3. *CHURCH CLAP* AMEN! And to be honest Cherrie, I'm not really lonely until I settle...with intimate relationships, with friends...I understand me, but when I include others in my life which make it complicated in the WRONG WAYS, that's when I feel alone and misunderstood...When I'm doing my own thing, I am centered and I am fine.

  4. I found my second constant. I want to be celibate until marriage! I know, crazy right. The older I get the more I realize, sex just isn't that serious! It's really overrated and when I compare the costs and benefits of NOT Waiting versus Waiting I had more costs with the former choice. Not only do i feel closer to God when I am celibate, but I don't't have to worry about getting my heart broken. I know all the relationship books say that men want sex and you eventually have to give a man good sex to keep him. But in my experiences, they eventually leave. In 2014 I don't want to be afraid. I've been afraid to wait because I felt I would not fully honor my commitment to myself and God to be celibate. Now I want to at least try. Lord knows it's easy right now because I have no prospects. Why not start at this point in my life.